To be or not to be... that is the question.

A real blogger that is! Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ok.... so I am not good ol William but per the request of my dearest BFF and my hubby I have decided to actually start "blogging". Ha! SomethingI never thought I would do but here I am. I initially started so I could view others blogs but I guess I really do enjoy writing and even though I am not sure I have something important to say... I always have SOMETHING to say.

So here it goes folks.... a glimpse of me for starters.

My life isn't all that exciting... although there are days when I feel I have just stepped out of a scene from "Everybody Loves Raymond".... or the reality TV show featuring the Duggar family. I guess what I find very ordinary would probably not be all that ordinary to most people.

Why you ask? Well.....

For starters I work in an emergency department! There is nothing ordinary about that. It's not all that glamorous as seen on TV but let me tell you I have had my days! For the sake of those of you with queezy tummies I will spare you the details but somedays I am pretty sure I have just stepped out of the twilight zone. FOR REAL!

Secondly,

I come from a family of 14. Not the biggest family ever but not your average 2 per household family either. :) My ten youngest siblings are all adopted and the oldest four are what we call "bio-babies". I am among the oldest, although some would argue I am bossy enough to be the oldest. I have about as many cultures in my family as there are continents that provide them! I grew up thinking that rice was a staple with every meal. I married into a family that doesn't speak very much English and am constantly saying things in my head in two different languages. My poor child must think I am nuts. :)

I would probably describe my life as easy but constantly moving. More paint by number than connect the dots despite the fact that my personality is TOTALLY a connect the dots. I can roll with the punches but would at least like to know that they are coming. I love life. The ups, the downs, the highs and lows. I love how in each season of life there is always something that should (if we are paying attention) encourage us to cling to Jesus. I love, love, love being a wife and mother and through blogging hope to encourage other young mothers to embrace their journey in life towards His eternal Kingdom AND

their journey as moms and wives. Oh that we wouldn't waste our energy and time trying to wish away seasons or long for changes before their time but that we would embrace the sacredness of living each moment knowing that He is ever present. His grace is sufficient in all things and His goodness evident regardless of our circumstances. I desire to cling to His goodness each and every day as He is my source and daily bread. I can do nothing- wait- I am nothing outside of His constant goodness towards me. In my own strength I will accomplish nothing that will have lasting value but by leaning on His strength my actions can have an eternal impact.

I tend to be an all or nothing type of gal... I can also be very goal orientated. I like my ducks in a row, I like things to make sense, and I like knowing how I can take charge! Being a mom has taught me so much about my own weakness's and has humbled me in ways I didn't expect. I will never again judge another mother for her screaming child in Target, or the mother whose child is covered in some funky brown goo. I now say "Oh man, that will totally be me down the line". Why, HA! Because it will. All the things I thought I knew about being a mom and all my pre-conceived ideas are out the window. I am learning how to be gracious in the un-knowing. Gracious with my child and husband AND yes, even gracious with myself because Lord knows I need it. There is a time to follow the rules and there is a time to fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants. (As I am constantly learning) Never thought I would say that knowing my personality.

You know that saying "do your best and let God do the rest"? Cliche purhaps, but boy is it true. So for starters... and in closing by the grace of God this journey will end up revealing more of Him and less of me because all I can do is my best at leaning into Him and then letting him do the rest.

Jesus, would you give me eyes to see and ears to hear what it is that you are doing and saying in my life. That I would live each and every day with true convictions from the Holy Spirit and that in all things would bring glory to your name. Teach me to lean not on my own understanding but to cling always to your goodness as it is never failing.

Amen